Record Weirdo - Back Alley Bargains

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I saw this sign on Chapman Avenue in Fullerton.

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The sign might as well have had my name written on it. After seeing it there for a couple of weeks, I had to stop and check it out. Being a supporter of Do It Yourself economics and underground ascetics, as well as a compulsive music consumer, I simply had no choice.
I followed the signs through the maze of alleys, rang the buzzer, and entered the portal to another dimension. No secret knock or password required.

The proprietor was a woman somewhere in the vicinity of my demographic group that, despite the circumstances, emitted absolutely no record geek or serial killer vibes. The garage was clean, well lit, and the records were well organized. Not only were they catalogued by genre, but alphabetized and alphabetized correctly. In order to peruse the goods, I didn't have to brush away any cobwebs or chickens.

Most of the records were cased in protective plastic sleeves and all were clearly marked with the price. It was suspiciously too well organized. I asked if the records were old store-stock or if she sold at swap meets or record shows. No. She insisted that this was her personal collection. I wasn't quite convinced but that didn't matter. I mentioned that I occasionally sold at the OC Record Show in Buena Park. Her ears perked up at that, but perked back down when I said I wasn't interested in buying her entire inventory.

I got the impression that the garage full of records were acquired as part of a divorce settlement, an inheritance, or maybe a roommate had moved out owing her a lot of money. It was her personal collection, all right, with "personal" being the operative word. I didn't want to pry or make any further assumptions. I will not interrogate anyone in the name of Internet journalism. I just continued to browse in happy, non-threatening silence and tried not to emit any serial killer vibes.

As much as I wanted to find something spectacular, it just wasn't there. There were some interesting records but nothing really notable. There were a few semi-collectable items at inflated prices - someone had taken the numbers in a price guide seriously but ignored the concept of grading (and pricing) by condition. Most of the stuff I saw was mainstream/ progressive/classic rock of the Journey/Rush variety. How much would you pay for a beat up copy of "2112?" Not this much.

Blood, Sweat & Tears, Chicago, Steely Dan - not my cup of joe.

There were some Beatles and Stones items, but they were too beat up and overpriced. My expertise does not extend as much to the Jazz and R&B sections, but it seemed to be the same story.

I had to buy something, of course. I walked away with a couple of novelty records for a couple/few bucks each. "Madcap Musical Nonsense" by the Three Stooges, which is thrashed almost beyond recognition but, hey, it's the Three Stooges so it should be. The other record is The Bearcuts "Swing Beatlemania," one of those Beatle rip-off records from 1964 or 1965. It's not quite as good as "Beatle Beat" by The Buggs, but it might be better than a couple John Lennon solo albums I have.

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Postscript:
The last time I drove through those parts, I didn't see the sign. I'd like to think that the venture was a huge success and the proprietor retired comfortably. However, the conspiracy theorist in me says that it was shut down by "The Man."
If records are outlawed, only outlaws will have records.

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