Wow. Do I have to read *one* more review of how AWFUL Kristen Stewart's new Joan Jett-inspired hairdo is? The truth is, folks, I LOVE this hair, I HAVE this hair, and I WORSHIP this hair. It's better than the hair KStew started with, and let's face it, copying Joan Jett's hair to play her in the new Runaways movie is not the worst KStew could do. No, the worst she could do is to pretend to be Joan Jett in a movie about the Runaways, pretend she knows ANYTHING about rock n' roll, and pretend that she's an actress. Oh, wait. She's already done all that. I guess the hair isn't the worst thing, now is it?
All night I've been trying to bring myself to listen to a Cramps record, but I just can't quite do it. As I'm sure you've read, Tweeted, or texted by now, Lux Interior has died.
As the Luddite I am, I wasn't on Twitter, online, or even on the phone. I was sitting in a chair, listening to the birds and the sound of traffic go by through an open window when a friend texted me from Europe to tell me Lux had passed. At first I thought it was a cruel joke, because about 20 years ago, there was another widespread rumor that Lux had died. Cramps fans are a cynical bunch.
So I went to the interwebs, which don't lie, and logged into my longest running yahoo group, email@example.com, where the boards were going crazy - sadness, disbelief, swearing, links, photos, you've got it. As usual, all the virtual vomit made me a little sick, so I retreated into my brain.
And since the internet is all about random sharing, here are two of my favorite Cramps memories:
1) Halloween at the Warfield in San Francisco, probably 1996 or 1997. I wore a fur bra and skin tight black capris with black patent stiletto heels. So many drunk guys hit on me the guy I was with had to defend my honor four times just walking from the car. He turned out to be a jerk, so I'm glad he had to pay for the tickets and $25 bucks to park. That was an amazing show.
2) The Cramps in Tijuana. I am not even going to try to remember the year, but it was late 80s, at a night club that is now gone. Sabrina and I drove to TJ with some of the Black Hole crew to see the Cramps. I guess if you'll follow a band to another country, you're a fan. When Lux took the Mexican flag and stuffed it down his pants, a small riot broke out. I didn't think we'd get back to America alive. That was another amazing night.
Now Lux is gone, and I don't have any words, but I do have the music and the memories. Thanks, Lux.
Maybe Bobby Brom said it best over at Staysick: "We named our now eighteen year old daughter 'Ivy' .. she attended her first Cramps concert on my shoulders when she wasn't quite three - she would not let me take her down the entire show, my shoulders ache still. I'm starting to feel I've lived too long myself lately."
I love Halloween. And one of my all time favorite "adult" things to do is to hand out Halloween candy, which is really just an excuse to play along with all the kids that come to the door. Tonight, my house is fully decorated, the lights are out, the music is ghoulish (thanks to DJ Wes) and the candy is flowing.
And then I notice a frightening, horrifying trend: many of my neighborhood trick-or-treaters are being DRIVEN from house to house by their parents. Yup, kids come to the door while an SUV sits idling at the curb, like they're some rock star that might be mobbed by paparazzi.
Aside from the obvious reasons this is wrong - the damage to the environment, the price of gas, our dependence on foreign oil - I'm horrified by the thought that 1) parents think the neighborhood is not safe for their children and 2) kids don't get any exercise or learn how to take care of themselves by trick-or-treating.
I always thought trick-or-treating was a rite of passage in America. Going door-to-door while your parents stood patiently at the curb. Remembering to say "please" and "thank you" for the candy your neighbors gave you, and when you were old enough, running through the darkened streets with your friends.
Now the world seems to be a scary place, where people don't know their neighbors (I admit I don't know all of mine), and every two or three houses are dark. Where are my neighbors, and why aren't they handing out candy?
Now I don't mean there are no kids wandering the streets - there are plenty, as well as plenty of parents dressed up to take their kids, pets in costume, and gangs of kids on bikes, scooters, and yes, on foot. But it's no wonder there are so many news stories about obese children when kids are being driven door-to-door to pick up candy.
Parents, get out of the car and walk through the neighborhood with your children. Introduce yourself to your neighbors, and teach your children about exercise, the importance of saying "thank you" and which houses have the best candy. I'll give you extra Kit Kats if you do!
I totally want to go to this. But I am far too lazy to leave the house and pay $35. Sigh.
So, what with work and our $7.8 million dollar budget shortfall (and you thought YOU were broke this month), and my need to just stay in doors and pet the kittens and bring down my blood pressure, I don't get out much.
Which is why I didn't know that Safari Sam's had moved. But apparently it HAS. Here's what I learned at Yelp:
"Some of you may have heard that Safari Sam's got shut down last weekend in a dispute with the landlord. ... Sam has just worked out a deal with the REGENT THEATER in downtown Los Angeles to begin its life as the NEW Safari Sam's location this weekend."
SAFARI SAM'S NEW LOCATION
THE REGENT THEATER--L.A.
448 S. Main St.
Los Angeles, CA 90013
Safari Sam's website confirms the venue change, but doesn't give reasons why. Anyone been there yet?
Yes, I'm a crazy cat lady. I own three cats and have been "adopted" by a stray that lives outside (shown above). I feed strays. Sometimes I take them in. I can't help it. Skinny, hungry, flea bitten, they come to my door and I can't help but love them.
Sometimes they have been left behind by a family that didn't care, like The Lady Boo, a declawed female I found living under my house. Other times, they are wild, like "Scrappy," the semi-feral, neutered cat that lives outside.
And then there are the non-fixed, intact males that come around for the food and cause trouble. I don't know what to do about these cats. If I round them up and take them to the pound, they'll be killed. No one wants a wild male cat with behavior issues. and even if they are neutered late, they frequently still have behavior issues. If I leave them be, I run the risk of them bringing disease into my neighborhood or even my home.
Now, a retired surgeon and one of America's richest men has decided that enough is enough and he is putting his money behind the need for a safe pet-sterilization method. Gary Michelson is making $50 million available in research funds and another $25 million available to the firm or scientist that can bring forward a viable and safe solution to the pet overpopulation problem.
According to USA Today, "animal lover Michelson is convinced, like most animal-welfare experts, that if unwanted litters never materialized, U.S. shelters wouldn't be euthanizing 4 million to 6 million animals a year." Read the whole story here.
I applaud Michelson for his efforts. And I hope they work.
At a time when tomatoes can kill you, I have a small miracle to report.
A few weeks ago, I spotted a plant growing in the corner of my yard. I thought it was a weed and started to pull it up. Then I realized it was some kind of vegetable plant that had mysteriously sprouted in the corner of my yard. I had no clue how it had gotten there: the wind, birds, an animal?
I decided to do nothing, because I have a black thumb and kill everything I try to grow. But this week the mystery plant produced tomatoes!
No idea how it is getting water or sun as it is in a corner of the front yard under the eaves and almost hidden by other plants. Most mysterious. But at a time when tomatoes from the store can kill you, this mysterious bounty is most welcome!
Warning: This story is disturbing. I work in the transportation industry, and I can tell you that public transportation is really much safer than taking a car to work every day, but stories like this are chilling.
What makes it even more distressing is that a friend of mine just traveled via Greyhound across America, in search of a "great adventure." Well, Tim McLean got more than that. McLean was stabbed to death and decapitated in front of an entire bus load of passengers while traveling across Canada. Read an eyewitness account from Orato here.
You know how sometimes you feel kind of, oh, I don't know, out-of-sorts? Like when you feel old, tired, fat ,cranky, depressed, bloated, icky, poorly dressed, out of shape, frustrated, listless, apathetic or sad and then you go get a bag of chips or a carton of ice cream or both and then you feel WORSE?
Maybe it's just me, but when I feel like that, I look at this picture and say, "Self, it is OKAY. You are FINE. No matter what is going on in your life, you did not leave the house dressed as ASHANTI today."
And then I feel better.
You know how I get Amanda Lepore mixed up with Nanette Lepore, right? Which is ridiculous because one is a fashion designer from the Midwest who designs delightfully feminine clothes that I can't afford, and the other is a tranny from New York who looks more fierce than feminine. Well, one of them is coming out with a make up line for CAMP Cosmetics, and even though I say I won't, I bet I'll buy some.
Can I get that dress pictured? The one made of a table cloth? Please???
"Rumor has it Alexander McQueen is on tap to do a Target Go International collection. So jump up and down and scream HOLY JESUS YES! Now calm down a bit as you allow the thought of McQueen clothes so affordable you can have multiple pieces hanging in your closet to sink in. We're still having trouble adjusting to the idea, but we're jumping up and down. Even McQueen's McQ diffusion line can easily run you upwards of $400 for a dress and $200 for a top. And yes, he already does collaborations with Puma and Samsonite, but let's be real here -- if we're going to own McQueen, we want to see it, as mentioned above, hanging in our closet. We don't need McQueen sneakers (any ol' Pumas are just fine for that) or luggage that costs $800 and is just going to get dinged up anyway. No, no, we need McQueen on our person and we need it now. And we need it to not fall to pieces, like some of the other recent Target lines have done. So let's hope that the retailer, in keeping with a designer of such caliber, gets materials worthy of his work. In the meantime, keep everything you can cross crossed to make this rumor come true."