Brian “Occulator” Yaeger’s Top 10

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1. Ordering rusty nails at every bar and having every bartender know how to make it. There IS something good about Vegas.
2. Ordering Frangelico on the rocks as a nightcap and discovering what a tasty treat that is. Like drinking a cookie. Unfortunately, I passed out drinking it at only 4:30 in the morning.
3. Still on the drinking tip—getting a bunch of those booklets with all the coupons from the concierge upon check-in and thereby getting plenty of free drinks (as well as a free scoop of ice cream and an official Mold Coast deck of cards). If that guy was gay, I shoulda really flirted with him to get more drink tix. (In fact, I even left with one in my pocket and Joe, if you’re reading this, I meant to give it to you as I passed you on my way out at 4:30 a.m. while you were still at the bar to make up for drinking your purple everclear soda that I gave you thereby depriving you of your en route-to-Vegas beverage).
4. Lucky’s twin turkeys, resulting in…
5. Placing 15th. It’s not 7th, but it’s better than a kick in the teeth. Barflies’ Bad News Bowlers are here to stay.
6. I’m not sure which is better, the fact that Tink grabbed by package, or the fact that she couldn’t tell I wasn’t still stuffing a pair of Volcom socks. (Oh sick, I just remembered giving those socks to Smokey and he didn’t even mind.)
7. Being serenaded by Lauren even if my idea of opera is Bohemian Rhapsody or Tommy or any 12-minute song by Meatloaf.
8. First I blow it with the girl in the elevator who invited me back to her room because evidently I can’t take a hint. Then I blow it with the girl on the Strip after I clotheslined her and all she did was smile. Then having the wherewithal to not blow it on the ladies who were even more forthcoming about what my chances would be. And by ladies, I mean the “of the night” variety. But encountering them as a result of Justin’s chivalry (he opened the door) was fun. Then watching him giggle himself to death every time he spotted their “business cards” littered all over the Strip (“Te he he. Porn.”) made everything better.
9. I’m gonna put bunking with Justin’ & Sandra here, but I’m a little miffed or at least perplexed that we didn’t get .99 cent breakfasts at 4 a.m., which we totally coulda done with those 2-4-1 coupons on the $1.99 b-fasts between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m. I’m having visions of going down there with Justin if he sleepwalked (slept walk?) just so he could do his Darth Vader imitation using his sleep apnea breathing apparatus.
10. On the way to Vegas, my flight was delayed nearly three hours and because they said there’d be turbulence, they didn’t hand out peanuts, they literally threw them down the aisle during take off so they’d slide down (real classy, Southwest). On the way back, I slept through my 6:55 a.m.-8 a.m. flight from take off to landing (stupid work not being off for Prez’ Day). In between was general, genuine fun & frivolity, and PRB on the whole ought to count as a Top 10 item.

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