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December 12th Film Releases

Hear any good pedophile jokes lately? Well, if they're not about Michael Jackson then they must be about the Catholic priesthood. (Don't worry; we Jews have the market cornered on guilt and mothers) On that note, let's get into this week's film recommendations- the Papacy, art, and love slightly past its prime.

1) The Statement
2) Girl with the Pearl Earring
3) Something's Got to Give

The dearth from last week is all but forgiven. Forgotten, never. But forgiven, almost. This week's crop of films is helpful in that regard. (I told you we had the market cornered on guilt)
Boys and girls we have a nice selection this week. Ranging from the asinine to the intellectual, there's something for everyone.

Something's Got to Give
Jack Nicholson suffers from acute Peter Pan syndrome. Itís a terrible disease, which makes those who have it unable to date women their own age (art imitates life). After suffering from a heart attack he must be cared for by his girlfriend's mother, Diane Keaton. Autumn/Autumn romance blooms and wilts in the process.
The dialogue is supposed to be worthwhile, making it a good candidate for my $10.

Stuck on You
The people who brought you the magic of Dumb and Dumber and Something About Mary bring you this next little gem - Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear play Siamese twins trying to make it big in Hollywood (I really wish they would stop recycling these plot lines).
If you're in the mood to laugh without the benefit of thought then this is the movie for you.

Love Don't Cost a Thing
A lackluster remake of a lackluster movie geared towards the prepubescent. It would even make JLo gag, and she starred in Gigli.

Girl with the Pearl Earring
Colin Firth (dreamy) and Scarlet Johansson star in this adaptation of the novel inspired by the Vermeer painting of the same name.
As an admirer of Vermeer's work and Colin Firth, this is certainly a film I plan to patron eventually. Maybe not while itís in the theater, but certainly when it comes out on video.

The Statement
Michael Cane plays a French Nazi war criminal being hidden by the Catholic Church. He has lived a life of relative security and peace until an investigator (Tilda Swinton) learns of his whereabouts and decides to flush him out.
I can't even come up with a good joke for this one. All I can say is that it looks worthwhile and is the best candidate for my $10.

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