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December 9, 2004

December 10th Film Releases

This Hanukkah weekend we have been gifted with two movies. Two. I may be a little rusty on my Judaism here, but I'm pretty sure we're entitled to EIGHT days of presents. Two is for the goyem. Eight is whole reason Hanukkah kicks Santa's ass. Don't cheapen it.
And they say Jews run Hollywood.

1) Ocean's 12
2) Blade Trinity
3) Closer (released last week, but I'm trying to catch up)

Ocean's 12
And the Lord sayeth, "Women - I gift onto you the handsome presence and charm of George Clooney." And there was much rejoicing. Then the Lord speaketh, "Ladies you have endured much hardship - I bless you with the all powerful good looks of Brad Pitt." And domesticated animals were sacrificed in His name. This pleased the Lord and he announceth, "Girlfriends thou art awesome! Enjoy yourself a hunk of Matt Damon." And all womankind threw themselves into a fit of unbridled mirth.
Guys may enjoy this movie too.

Blade Trinity
Wesley Snipes gives vampire hunting one last shot by going after the first vampire. I hear it’s all of the stuff you loved about the first two without all the crap that made you want a refund.
The casting alone is interesting enough to be worth the price of admission. Parker Posey, HHH, Jessica Beals, and Ryan Reynolds. An indie queen, a pro-wrestler, a choir girl, and a hottie known for lukewarm comedy. Huh?

Closer
My favorite topic! Screwed up people doing screwed up things (to each other).
Finally, someone gave Clive Owen (aka Super Hotness) a role where he can show some personality and actually, well, act. It's about time. If he did one more stoic hero movie I was going to have to cut him from my list of potential soul mates.

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