Weep with me. It is indeed time to mourn. The good movies are gone and the savage wilderness begins. Pray that there are points of light in this endless darkness, because otherwise, we are lost.

Along Came Polly
Um. Well. It has potential. It could be funny. Then again, it could be awful. Ben Stiller portrays a risk adverse tentative guy who likes his universe safe and small. He catches his newly betrothed cheating on him and goes into a tailspin. So far does he fall that he asks out a quirky adventurous old school chum (played by Jennifer Aniston) who gets him to make wild changes, like salsa dancing and Moroccan food. Amazing. How unpredictable. Next thing you know, he'll be getting his nipples pierced and jumping headfirst into mosh pits while head-banging to Static X.
All in all, it still has that wondrous quality, otherwise known as “potential,” and is one of the better films being released this week.

Torque
This is a 120-minute long Mountain Dew commercial. Filled with the lack of meaningful plot and amazing action sequences you come to expect from music video directors trying to cross over into legitimate cinema.
Just watch two hours of rap videos and not waste your $10.

Disney's Teacher's Pet
I got annoyed just watching the trailer for this. A talking dog who wants to be human so badly, he dresses like a little boy and follows his master to school. He even elects to undergo experimental surgery in order to become a "real boy."
Nathan Lane is the voice of the dog. Can you imagine 120 minutes of Nathan Lane whining on and on about how he wants to be human? I could barely sit through 2 minutes.

The Cooler (Wide Release)
I saw this and liked it. Macy is always great as the lovable looser, Maria Bello plays the hooker with the heart of gold to perfection, and Alec Baldwin is surprising good as the old school casino manager who doesn't want to let go of his Rat Pack ways.
Spend your $10 and enjoy.

Tokyo Godfathers
A runway, a bum, and a transvestite discover an abandoned baby while rummaging through the trash searching for their next meal. In a surge of altruism, they decide to reunite the baby with its mother.
It's anime and in Japanese with subtitles. If you don't mind that, this could be worthwhile.

Crimson Gold
Remember that Michael Douglas movie, Falling Down? Normal suburbanite snaps and takes all of LA with him? Well, this is that same movie. Only, instead of LA, it’s Iran.
I'd rent Falling Down instead. It’s a classic and you don’t have to read anything.