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October 30, 2003

October 31st Film Releases

This week is a mixed bag at best. On one side we have our obvious Oscar contenders (The Human Stain, Shattered Glass), on the other side we have the boring run of the mill, love your fellow man (or beast), Disney craptoon (Brother Bear), then we have the third dimension of the purely bizarre (Die Mommy Die, Dirt), and THEN we have the stroke-the-director's-ego re-release of a classic sci-fi horror epic (Alien).
My picks for the week are as follows:
1) The Human Stain
2) Shattered Glass
3) Die Mommy Die
And, if all else fails -- Alien (it is Halloween isn't it?)

Oscar season has been here for a few weeks now and the studios are slowly releasing the quality films that they've been hoarding all year. One by one. Cell by cell. It's as though we've been starved all year and they can't give them to us all at once or we'll die from our own gluttony (but they're the cruel masters who starved us in the first place). No justice, no peace! Just give us the films worth seeing!!!!
Back to the task at hand:

The Human Stain
What is a poor discredited aging college professor to do? Well, if you're Anthony Hopkins and your cleaning lady looks like Nicole Kidman, you have yourself a darn good time. But, some good things just aren't meant to last. Just ask Nicole’s abusive ex-husband, Ed Harris.
Good cast, mysterious story line (but if you read enough of the reviews you can figure it out), and a two-time Oscar winning director. Looks like it might be worth my $10.

Alien: The Director's Cut
The movie that made you freak out every time you had a bad case of gas is back. Digitally remastered with extra footage and our favorite acid dripping queen. Don't worry; it'll be out on DVD before you know it.

Brother Bear
So sweet it'll make you want to gag (and then go hunting).

Shattered Glass
Steven Glass is journalism's latest prodigy. A contributing writer for Rolling Stone and a staff writer for the New Republic, all at the tender age of 25. But this little turk gets his comeuppance when it turns out that he may have fibbed a little on a couple of his stories. Okay, okay - 25 out of 27 of his articles may be complete works of fiction. So he cut a few corners, can you blame a lazy Gen X'er?
Hayden Christensen (otherwise known as the future Darth Vader) may actually have an ounce of acting talent (I had my doubts after the last Star Wars installment). Another possible candidate for my $10.

Die Mommy Die
When a Hollywood producer dies of mysterious causes, his transvestite wife is always the first to be blamed. So typical.
This 50's melodrama inspired comedy stars Natasha Lyonne (one of my favorite indie starlets) and Jason Priestley (will he ever live down 90210?). Could be fantastic, could be horrible. Let's go gambling.

Dirt
I haven't heard anything about this film, nor have I seen an ounce of footage even resembling a trailer. But, the premise looks interesting.
Two brothers in Texas decide they need the presence of the fairer sex in their lives after their mother dies. The stripper doesn't work out, so they kidnap a grocery clerk and go on a crime spree. Mamma would be proud.
This is an even bigger gamble.

Suspended Animation
I've seen the trailer, and trust me, it isn't worth writing about. Move on.

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