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January 6, 2007

How Not to Hit on a Girl

::Security guard spots my "My Little Pony" backpack as I'm leaving work one night::

"Oh! You must have a little girl."

"Uh - no - it's mine. My friend's daughter saw it and wanted to buy it for me, because she knows I like 'My Little Ponies.'"

"You must be a Sagittarius."

"Um, no."

"Libra."

"No."

"Taurus."

"No."

"Oh! Aquarius."

"No."

"Gemini."

"No."

"Leo."

"No."

"Virgo?"

"No."

"Uh, Aries?"

"No."

"Pisces."

"No."

"Capricorn."

"No."

"Scorpio."

"No."

"What's left?"

"Cancer."

"Oh! Cancer. Yeah, you like to cook."

"Actually, no, I don't cook."

"You only cook a few things, but you cook them really well."

"No, I really don't cook anything. The only things in my refrigerator are beer and the occasional cold pizza."

"Oh. Well, when you're dating someone, you don't have to worry about your cheating on them, because you're not even attracted to anyone else."

Reluctantly, I admit, "Yeah, that's very true."

"Yeah, I was pretty faithful when I was married."

What a keeper.

Posted by darlin at January 6, 2007 6:10 PM