« Slim Cessna's Auto Club / Legendary Shack Shakers at the Tractor Tavern, Seattle, WA - Thursday, October 28, 2004 | Main | CD Reviews - David Thomas, Demolition Doll Rods, The Hives, Rev. Horton Heat »

October 31, 2004

Demolisten Derby

2021c[1].jpg

Rules for Demolisten Derby
1. American built cds only!! Vinyl lps and 45s okay if approved in advance. No trucks, convertibles, jeeps, vans, suburbans, utility vehicles, or corvettes.
2. After the derby, all cds must be removed within two hours of completion.
3. Helmets will be inspected and must be approved. Full face is highly recommended. All drivers must wear long sleeve shirt and long pants. Gloves and firesuit are recommended.
4. If applicable, air bags must be disconnected and removed.
5. Exhaust will be allowed through the hood. Pipes will not exceed roof height. Headers allowed. No open manifold. Must have exhaust pipe exit under floor.
6. Painting: must be presentable. No profanity, nudity, etc. Offensive language/pictures will be disqualified.
7. Singers who do not make contact within 20 seconds of start will be disqualified. Scorers will time those who no not make contact. If you stall you have 20 seconds to get started. No exceptions. If you are disqualified you can not re-enter. Those found to be in violation forfeit all money. No exceptions.
8. No alcoholic beverages or illegal substances allowed in pit areas.
9. Entry and inspection start at 3:00pm.
10. Decisions of race officials are final.
NO PROTESTS ALL SCORING IS FINAL

Every so often, Miss Jen gives me a bunch of demo cds and makes me listen to them. This time, I waited until Kevin Stockdale and I were on a road trip up to KDVS for the UC Radio Network Conference and forced him to play the Demolisten Derby with me. All conversations are true. None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Wolfgang Bang - Thankfully, there were only three songs here, because Kevin threatened to "turn this car around" after the third song. We liked the guitar, but the whiney vocals were annoying a la Tony Cadena (of the Adolescents) but not in a good way. None of the songs were catchy. A total breakdown with no impact.

Sweatergirl - "Low Bridge Near the South Fork" - even though there are twelve songs here, it's a demo. Very Green Day-esque, if you like that sort of thing. Way better than the Wolfgang Bang cd. We thought it was fun, pop-punk but needed to be more riffy; there was really nothing here to grab on to. Still standing after the first round, even without a roll bar.

2 Ton Turtle - "I can't hear the vocals; turn it up." "It IS up - maybe the singer's shy?" "Doesn't the singer sound like Lene Lovich to you?" "Oh, it's a woman?" At this point, Kevin offered to throw the cd out the window, which I said was littering. "Well, if we throw it out the window, it's littering - but if we keep it in the car, it's poisoning." Disqualified for sucking gas so badly.

Girly Freak Show - "Hey, this band sounds like the Waitresses!" "Yeah, they wish." This band combined parts of the Divinyls, Bachelor Party (1984) and Doll Parts by Hole, then welded them together. Good if you like that sort of thing. Still standing after the first round, but knocked out of the arena by Sweatergirl.

Billy Talent - As Kevin says, "If you have to tell us you have talent in your band name, maybe you don't." They sound like Incubus.

Pistol for a Paycheck - "Into the Arms of the Mother of Hate" - I didn't like this band's guitar tone. Kevin liked their funky syncopation (he's a drummer), but I didn't, because it reminded me too much of a poor man's Primus, or maybe Liquid Jesus. As Kevin put it: "If I had to watch this band, I'd walk out."

Frogdog - "Boy, you can tell with a name like Frogdog that they're never going to make it out of the pay-to-play circuit."

Posted by DJWanda at October 31, 2004 1:25 AM